Loving, EVERY Moment

I need to remember that. Katelynn has become more difficult. I know that she feels the stress and the change that came with Mark and so she tries to relieve that stress by causing more stress on Ben and I. We try to keep a handle on her but man does she keep us running all the time. She has to be monitored constantly or who knows what she will get into. Yes, we have things as baby proofed as possible but she still manages to get to things that she can't and she knows she can't have or shouldn't be doing.
Ben goes back to work tomorrow and I am trying to tell myself that no matter what happens during the day as long as we are all fed and clothed we are doing good. I just REALLY have to change my go Go GO attitude to just an enjoy attitude. Things aren't going to get done and I have to realize that. I am not the first mother to want a clean house and not have one. I have to look at the moment and realize that the most important things are what is taken care of. Katelynn and Mark are my number one priorities. Their clothes are clean, they are fed, and for the most part they are happy. Dishes are still in the sink, mega blocks are all over the floor and I am sitting here blogging because I have to have me time too. I do know that if I don't take the time to do things that make me happy, no one will be happy.
Even with the stress of taking care of two kids I really do think that I am still emotionally better off this time than I was after having Katelynn. I have my prescription for zoloft on the top of the fridge ready to go if things turn for the worst. I still have moments but NOTHING like with Katelynn. I am enjoying Mark as a newborn so much more. I can already see him changing and getting bigger, the most important thing is that his cheeks are filling out.
Nursing is going so much better but still not perfect. I know that this won't last for a year. I don't know why my sisters and I have such a hard time with nursing but getting and keeping a good supply takes so much work. Nursing is definitely a stress since it takes 30 min at least for him to get an adequate feeding but then he can be hungry again in less than an hour. So, me being occupied with nursing so much causes me to not be able to do things and since he loves to be held which occupies me again. I just get torn between wanting time to do things with Katelynn like we used to and just being "stuck" nursing. I know I will miss this time when it is gone though. I just need to love every moment and be happy with what those moments are.
I did take Katelynn and Mark to the park and Costco today by myself. This was my first trip with them both to a store. Everything went fine until checkout. Which is always the case, but we made it out with what we needed. I did leave my debit card at Costco and had to go back to get it, thankfully someone turned it in.

Lastly, yesterday when I was sitting on the bed sorting some laundry with Mark, Katelynn sat next to him and started playing peek-a-boo with him and he was just staring at her and then he started smiling at her. It was so cute. It made me so happy to see a connection forming between them. Katelynn then started softly tickling him on his forehead, which was funny to see. She hasn't quite learned the ticklish spots yet.